As I have become closer to Judaism, I have also simultaneously found my voice and a part of myself which was buried. You see, living life as a Jew with Jewish consciousness gives a whole new perspective of the world. During the pandemic, I was swept away by the politics, protesting the COVID mandates, and heartbroken yet participating in the divisiveness. I was sure I was on the enlightened side, as it usually is during any kind of debate or conflict. I was heavily influenced by my sphere and and I was glued to the news. There was almost no way to escape the belly of the beast and see things clearly and rationally. It was an unprecedented time with an unprecedented political atmosphere in this country. From lockdowns to business closures to riots and rallies, marches, and protests. It was an inferno. I experienced the political divide with family and best friends and it was heartbreaking. I'm pretty sure there was no one left to see things objectively.
In 2022 the COVID hysteria died down some semblance of peace and order seemed to unfold with the new president in office. A sense of healing and peace came over me too. It was enough tension, division, and anger. It was time to rise to our higher selves and let that be the past. I moved on with life and suddenly found myself heavily involved in a Jewish community. I returned to a place internally I hadn't even realized was lost. I finally focused on myself for the first time in years, and I mean in a deeper sense. In hindsight, I realized a few things.
In a tumultuous time in our country, I was easily swept away. This was a reflection of how grounded I was in myself. I found an identity in my political ideology which I don't think would have happened had I been grounded in something else like Judaism. Today I still align with much of my stance on the events that took place but at some point I think I lost a grasp of reality and began to absorb a catastrophic view of the future of America, thinking communism had taken hold and we would never recover. I also did not see the man who was in charge at the time, Donald Trump, for who he was since he was so skilled at marginalizing and demonizing those that opposed him. I realized now it was a tribality loyalty game, from both parties. The polarization was extreme from those that hated him and from those that were loyal to him. While he was pointing out their dangerous game, they were pointing out his and both were right. I do now see his rhetoric as jus as inflammatory as the news media. Today I do think personality matters as much as policy. Hitler was a moving and captivating orator whose ability to use his "us vs them" ethics to rise to power.
I am appalled over reading over Trump's comments about American Jews in Israel. He and other politicians speak about Jews like they own them like a continuation of the last thousand years where Jews did the bidding of the ruling class. His comments are unforgivable. His meeting with Ye and Nick Fuentes was the last straw and I don't buy that he was "unaware" of their ideologies. Biden has made hugely racist and disparaging comments about groups of people too. It is so low and disappointing.
I see from my own eyes more clearly now from this vantage point. Antisemitism is either covert or overt, but its always there. The same goes for corruption. The same goes for racism. Whether it's covert or overt, its quite clear there we are still in trouble as a country. From corruption and deep state, to the ushering in of democratic socialism and even communism, to radical and extreme right or left ideologies, to arrogant, narcistic leaders with volatility and irresponsible speech. It's an extreme world, and we are seeing extreme responses from leaders. This country has had many volatile periods though and somehow by the grace Gd only, always remained strong and resilient and better than it was before.
I want to see a real leader come in next!!
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